i hope you happen to stumble upon this like you did my skin.

it's just another nightmare
another reason to cry myself to sleep
i didn't think it was such a big deal
tried to convince myself it wasn't important.

but i'm ashamed of the things i allowed
him to do when i wasn't even looking.
it's just another nightmare
until i wake up and realize it's real.

i try to rationalize, pretend like it's
not happening, that i'm just
trying to look for a reason to be unhappy
but i can still feel his cold hands and
they cause me to tremble.

his eyes filled with guilt and shame
yet i try to deny the facts that condemn
i know what's happening and i do nothing to stop it
so i attempt to blame myself for all of this.

but facts are facts, and what he did
has scarred me and dug a ditch in my trust
he burned his bridges before he crossed them
and dragged me off the ledge with him.

oh god, i'm finally speaking out.
i can't handle the agony anymore.
the truth has to be told
even with trembling hands as i say this:

you are a monster.
i'm not going to protect you.
the truth is: i've forgiven you
but i can't deny what you are.

and you are nothing more than a coward.