i'm not normally so sentimental.

i'm coming to realize the importance of friendships.
to abandon all hopes and dreams of friendships and the relationship itself, is to deprive a person of the most exceptional, beautiful, lifechanging, crazyamazing thing they could ever possibly know.

it's when you don't talk to those people, don't see those people, don't live with those people for an extended amount of time, and you almost feel like things are crumbling underneath you because they're not there to listen and talk to you about things. when they always call you when you're tied up at the moment, and you don't get a chance to call them back cause you get home late. when life goes on without them, it kinda hurts.

i miss my friends. i miss their smiles, their laughs, their mannerisms that i have memorized, their scents, their touch...i just long to hold alisha in my arms and feel her squirm, because she hates physical touch, but then feel her settle into my hug, because she knows it's making me the happiest woman on the earth. i can't wait to spin naomi around like a top and just nearly kiss her because i've missed her so. i'm dying to see bekah and squeeze the life out of her while she laughs that loud and ridiculous laugh that penetrates the sound barrier. i'm dying to get a ryan sharp hug, the awkward, quick kind that he gives, because his love language isn't really physical touch with girls. but it makes me feel loved, because he put forth an effort to show me how much he cares. and i want to hear kristian really quietly say, hey friend, as he gives me this really soft, side hug that makes me feel warm. i wanna see the duhons, hear matt laugh really loud and sit through an hour long pep talk. see heather's smile light up a room again, and listen to her talk talk talk cause she's always at home with kids and never gets to hang out with grownups. to see natalie and eliana, the sunshine of my life, come running towards me and smiling and laughing because they haven't seen me in a very very long time. to hear eliana grunt out of frustration...to hear natalie laugh. i can't wait much longer to introduce myself to caleb matthew duhon, to hold him in my arms and kiss him and tell him how precious i think he is, to welcome him to a beautiful family.

these are the things i live for. the things that kill me when i miss them. the people that make my life something worth getting out of bed for everyday. i can't imagine my life without these people. so you can imagine why tears are fighting their way to the brink while i'm writing this.

if you read this, i miss you.