things should be flowing out of my mouth right now. i've had so much time to think over the past few days about anything and everything that needs my immediate or not so immediate consideration. but all i can think of is how much i long for intimacy with my Maker once again. it's not like i'm backsliding, i'm in love with Him more than yesterday, but i think the fact of the matter is what i once considered intimacy is now familiar and i want MORE! not because it feels good, but because there is nothing on this earth worth near as much as intimacy with my God. i was reading song of songs last night (i know, again) and i was sitting there just reading how much solomon's beloved knew about him. she knew his characteristics, she knew every detail of his body, she knew the things that probably nobody else notices. and there's this verse, that i'm sitting here contemplating. all you good christians out there know this one "do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." so i'm thinking about that passage. it's mentioned actually 3 times in this book. most people only see it twice, but it's there a third time, right at the end. and i'm wondering, why in the heck would a girl who has the man of her dreams tell us girls not to fall in love until the perfect time? and how will we know when the perfect time, and who the perfect guy, and how ready we are, happens? is this just another form of the proverbs 31 myth? (fyi, guys: if you're looking for the proverbs 31 woman in the totality of what the chapter talks about, you're probably gonna be looking for a long time...on the forever side of things. i mean, geez, why don't we just go looking around for a guy just like jesus and see how you feel. she was a HUMAN woman, she might have even been bathsheba. and some of those qualities were unique to HER, and i just won't have them, no matter how much i want to and try to. anyways, off my soapbox)
so i think the truth kinda hit me like a semi-truck on the interstate. while the verse(s) are definitely talking about relationships with the opposite gender, and guarding your heart like proverbs talks about, i think there's something deeper we can take from this too. like i said, this is a book of the bible about a man and woman in love. but let's not forget, it's also considered the greatest metaphor in the bible of Christ and His bride, the church. i think God is trying to tell us (maybe just me) something. don't try to fall in love if your heart won't follow. don't try falling in love with Me if it's just gonna be a bunch of words and some random songs that you sing when you need something from Me. God is trying to tell us that without desire, we won't truly be loving Him, and He'd rather us just be honest with ourselves and admit that our heart doesn't desire Him just yet than to pretend that we've sure got it together and that we're totally overtaken by Him. it goes back to the verse in matthew that says "whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but he who loses his life for My sake will find it." it's gotta be a reckless abandon kind of thing. if i'm not ready to take it to the next level of intimacy, that's okay. but if i am, i have to be ready and willing to give it all away.
of course, i could be wrong, but i firmly believe that God is trying to say something else besides don't fall in love till the time is ripe and you're ready. and i know that my God's heart breaks when people do things halfway. He loves to see those who drown themselves in the things He loves, so i think that's what i'm gonna do. just go a bit deeper in this love i have for something that saved my life.
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2 comments:
Very interesting thoughts. I would suggest that God doesn't want you to go looking for a guy to fall in love with. Instead, I suggest you wait for God to lead His perfect choice for you to you.
i needed to hear this. from all aspects. thank you.
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