mostly tonight, my sentiments just needed to be unleashed. i have a tendency to lock them up in this hyperactive mind of mine and neglect them. so here i sit, late at night, when i could be sleeping, and instead, my mind is running like a stampede. wondering about my future, things past, things present, and things unseen.
one: i believe that god has more than one person destined for you. that they're all of the same type, but not the same exact person. each of them has different things that you don't like about them, and different things that you're enraptured by. i wonder, if you meet one of them in the wrong timing, does that mean it won't ever happen? cause i feel like i'm caught and someone else is getting what i've been waiting for. i just got out of a serious relationship, and by the time i'm ready to dive into the dating pool again, he could very well be gone. and somebody else could have the one i kinda want to discover. i want to know if i could love him.
two: i'm sick and tired of people thinking that i'm not doing this perfectly. why? because they're right. i'm trying to live my life to the best of my ability, and here they sit, like the supreme court of my life, trying to tell me that what i'm doing is wrong and that it would be so much better if i did it this way. but don't they realize that i've already tried that and they've criticized me for that too? it's like i'm walking down a busy nyc street, and they're waiting up and down every alley. just to jump me and take all the confidence i've had worked up.
three: i'm tired and i should probably go to bed before i go certifiably insane.
[sigh] goodnight, moon...
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