between the world i know and love
and
the world that god intended for me to live in.
i'm really unsure about what i'm supposed to be doing in some ways, and i think in other ways, i'm pulling a jonah. just like he said i was. i want to have what god wants for me, but there's this overwhelming desire deep down to run away while i can. i can't be trapped, bogged down with this stuff, when i have an out. and then i remember that the belly of the whale is worse than the will of god. and that running doesn't solve anything, because what happens when i reach the end of the world and have nowhere left to run? i don't wanna know, and i'm not going to. cause i'm going to stay it out.
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